by Sarah Lam – Part 1 of 3
I’ve always had a workback plan for everything in life. This is true with most events in my life including academics, fitness and diet, and career. Except for one thing – I have no workback plan for when I’ll fall in love and have children.
In college, my workback plan for love was that I’d meet “the one”, get married, and have my first child by 28. This plan was largely influenced by my Chinese heritage. I was constantly reminded by my Tiger mom that I had to be married by 30, otherwise I would be called, in Chinese culture, a “leftover woman”. To her, success is defined by being married and starting my own family. Instead, what happened was I decided to pursue my career in Finance, move to various cities, and start my own fitness platform. In this process, I never found the person with whom I would fall in love with and be the father of my children. I feel like I am crushing life – I’m successful in my career, financially independent, well traveled, and in the best shape of my life. Although I should be extremely proud of myself, all I’ve focused on is what I didn’t achieve.
It has been on my mind for the past year and now I’m taking the bold steps to plan for what I can control. Egg freezing is technology by which a woman’s eggs are surgically removed from her ovaries and then frozen until she is ready to use them. It is an insurance policy that increases my runway and gives me freedom to accomplish more of my goals along with finding the right partner to start a family.
There’s still social stigma around egg freezing. Like miscarriages and postpartum depression, egg freezing isn’t talked about enough. It is an extremely personal and emotional decision to freeze your eggs. I went back and forth about being vulnerable by publicly sharing my experience. But if I’m able to normalize discussions or even help educate just one person, then I consider it a win.
I’m scheduled to start my egg freezing cycle in a few weeks with Seattle Reproductive Medicine (SRM). Several friends who have undergone egg freezing through SRM have praised their customized fertility plans and staff who have overwhelmingly accommodated to their needs. I’m thankful to work with a dedicated team that has been so kind and helpful during this process and making sure I have the best care possible.
I still don’t have a workback plan for love, but at least I have given myself the possibility of having children in the future. I’m making the best decision for myself by freezing my eggs while they are still healthy and relatively abundant. Stay tuned for my follow up post as I start the treatment part of my egg freezing journey!
If you are interested in knowing more about SRM’s Egg Freezing Program, start here.